wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
