The maid of honor just puked.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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