just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
