Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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