We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
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you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
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I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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