hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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