Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
