That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
