i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
