that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
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