Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize