He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
