Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
