I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
