he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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