I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
only you would photoshop your dick
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
