ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
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Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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