I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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