So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
