Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
