some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
