So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
there is another microwave in the elevator.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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