with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
FUCK WHALES
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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