Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
