I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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