In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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