Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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