i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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