Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize