I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
