You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
