Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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