i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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