The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
