two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
