I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
