Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
