Sry I called you an 8
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
