To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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