she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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