Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I touched a dick in church today
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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