dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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