he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Your topless pictures make me question reality
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
