hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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