"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
