dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
