im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i think i scared a bird with my dick
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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