so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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