I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
