One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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