We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
