I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
