so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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