Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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