she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
