The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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