I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
