I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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