Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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